when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
