you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
