enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
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