Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
