You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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