She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
