omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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