i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
