I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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