sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
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