hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
thus making me awesome and them whores
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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