I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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