Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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