Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
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