everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
