she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
There are leaves in my underwear?
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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