my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
