you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
My breasts were aching with rage.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
