I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
