So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I faked an abortion last night.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
