Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Text me some of your sweat
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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