Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
