May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
10 Things Your Gyno Wants You To Stop Doing To Your Vagina
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
For Some Reason, Boys Are Singing The ‘Halo’ Theme Song In School Bathrooms
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get