In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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