who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Randomize
