3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
