i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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