just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
