Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
Randomize
