Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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