You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
