the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
