is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
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