Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
