He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
