ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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