Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
