I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
