Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Randomize