Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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