Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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