I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
