If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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