I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
