When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
