I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Randomize
