You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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