Rock
Scissors
Fuck
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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