But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
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I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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