They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
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