brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
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