he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
