Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
