I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I'm always down for nudity.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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