There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
