Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
he was CRYING into my vagina
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
