community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize
