why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Randomize
