I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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