In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
