those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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