Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Randomize
